The Crazy Chronicles
Everybody has quirks. Strange habits. Odd phobias. Peculiar sayings.
I, for example, have a long standing fear of car washes. I also must have the toilet roll going under, and not over.
The Boy does not believe in blisters. He does not get blisters. He gets splinters in his feet, and that is that. He also dips biscuits into cold Ribena.
The Baron is fairly strange in most respects, but even he has his oddities. He always leaves the last few mouthfuls of Coke in the bottle. He doesn't just stub out his fags, but obliterates them into little heaps to prevent the raging inferno that may occur in the ashtray. Oh, and he likes peanut butter and houmous sandwiches.
My mother is the queen of peculiar sayings. "Okey dokey, lemon soaky" is one that the Boy has caught onto, but there are countless more. "Better a pole in the eye with a dead stick" springs to mind.
My father is currently crusading against the Times, for removing his beloved broadsheet format. He will not read the paper in tabloid format.
The Baron's father believes that it is a personal affront if the Baron doesn't answer the phone immediately. Even if he is at work.
Even the cats are in on the weirdness.
Harvey will tap me repeatedly in the night until I roll over and cuddle him. Try as I might, I cannot ignore him as the taps turn into bops, and then if I am still so impertinent as to ignore his demands, he will claw me.
Yet, if I am awake when he comes up, he wants nothing to do with me.
Frankie cannot groom himself without first folding back both of his ears. He also likes to scatter litter over a 5 mile radius, to ensure that everything is covered.
Ellie cannot remain silent even when stalking prey. She crouches low and starts hunting. Then she forgets herself, lets out a little chatter and her prey runs away (her prey being invariably the hapless Frankie, who can hear her chatter as he has forgotton his ears are still folded back).
Charlie will roll over and show his belly. Then he takes your hand with his paws, as if it let you stroke him, and then he bites. Hard. And then glares malevolently at you.
Willow watches foood cooking in the oven. It doesn't matter how long it is in for, she will watch it. We are thinking of spit roasting a pig, just to see if she will watch that. I've taken to leaving UKFood on for her when I am out, just to keep her occupied.
Hollie just likes to be in small spaces. In fact, the smaller the better.
My parents dog chases his own leg. In his defense, he doesn't have a tail to chase, but even so, that is one of the weirdest things I have seen. When he catches it (!) he actually tries to gnaw it like a bone.
So.....share your quirks!
posted by DMouse007 @ 11/17/2004 07:50:00 PM
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