The Beep
It started early this morning.
I could hear a faint beep when I went downstairs. I ignored it - with six cats to feed, two trays to scoop, sandwiches to make, expense form to submit and breakfast to eat, I didn't have time to track it down before I had to leave for work. I went to work and thought nothing of it.
But when I got home from work I could still hear it. It wasn't from the washing machine. It wasn't the heating or hot water. It wasn't the fridge. It wasn't the dishwasher. It wasn't the cats water fountain. It wasn't the tap - the water had been turned off due to mains work.
I was starting to get spooked. I stuck my head in the meter box. Not there. I tried the fuse box. No. I listened to every plug socket. Then I turned the electricity off to be sure that nothing was beeping.
I could still hear that damn beep.
The smoke detector was working. The carbon monoxide detector was working. I checked both my mobile phones, my laptop, my PDA, and my iPod. All were behaving.
The cats were following me around, but refused to go in the kitchen. Which was where the beep was the loudest.
I ran. Convinced my new house was now possessed, I did the only sensible thing. I went to my Mummy.
She laughed at me.
My father laughed at me.
My sister laughed at me.
The Boy laughed at me. Then offered to call Ghostbusters.
I suspect that the dog laughed at me.
After much pleading and bribery I persuaded my sister to come back with me to my newly haunted house. We set off, through the dark and foggy streets. Very eery. Very fitting, given my house was now possessed by an evil beep.
We got in, and straight away she could hear it.
We headed in to the kitchen. The cats hovered in the doorway, heads tilted to one side and staring into space.
We were at a loss. We searched through every electrical appliance I own. All were beep free.
We both saw it at the same time. The Baron's tool case. His pride and joy. We advanced on it slowly, one one each side. Like it would spring to life. We prised open the lid, held our breath.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and turned off the Baron's fucking metal detector.
He is doing the washing tonight.
posted by DMouse007 @ 11/30/2004 08:57:00 PM
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