The Size of a Teabag
When sperm and egg meet they must enter into some serious negotiations for the zygote contract. Everything must be just right, as the contract must be delivered to exact specifications.
Picture the scene, about 27 and a half years ago, if you will. Mr Sperm is sat at one end of the table, and Ms Egg at the other. The hour is late, and the other sperm have called it a day. Ms Egg is the sole representative for her company.
Egg: I must pass on the ability to eat an entire packet of biscuits in one sitting. This is a vital skill, and cannot be lost.
Sperm: You have got to be joking! No way. Not going to happen. Why on earth would anyone NEED that skill?
Egg: Tough luck. No biscuits, no contract. That is how it must be.
Sperm: Fine. If you get that, then I want to pass on the ability to drink beer until it hurts.
Egg: Bloody pointless skill, if you ask me. But ok, what the hell. What's left? Are we nearly done?
Sperm: Hum. Only the unimportant bits, I think. Grey eyes ok?
Egg: They'll do. How do you feel about musical skills?
Sperm: If you get to pass on musical skills, I want to pass on the love of reading.
Egg: Deal. I like that. Last two. You get one and I get one.
Sperm: All I have left to pass on is short sightedness and an inability to map read.
Egg: Does that explain why you had trouble finding the venue today?
Sperm: Haha. You don't have a real sense of humour to pass on then?
Egg: I have a bladder the size of a teabag, and a clicky elbow left. Let's toss.
Sperm: I find that to be a deeply offensive remark. It is offensive to my millions upon millions of compatriots who met their end through tossing.
Egg: Shove it up your arse.
Sperm: I'll ignore that. I'm going to go with short-sightedness.
Egg: I choose the bladder the size of a teabag.
Sperm: But we agreed on the ability to drink beer until it hurts!
Egg: It will hurt now. Never let it be said I do not have a good sense of humour.
And that is how I got my teabag sized bladder.
posted by DMouse007 @ 11/18/2004 07:48:00 PM
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