I am officially stupid
I have sat here freezing and apparently the heating isn't broken. Contrary to what I thought, it does not need both pilots alight to heat the house. The first one (which should be on all the time) is for water heating and is independent of the air heating. So in reality we have no hot water.
But we have always had heating. Clearly I am just really stupid (and really cold) not to know that the two are independent.
Bugger.
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