Towering Inferno
The house is clean and tidy. But smelly.
I made pan fried chilli and garlic prawns last night (to eat with onion and garlic dip, hehehe). None of the cats were interested in stealing a prawn, because the boys once pinched a cooked one and found it rather heavy on the garlic and chilli.
I went to wash my hands once I'd had the prawns, but forgot to take my bowl back to the kitchen. When I returned, Smellie Ellie, the cat formerly known as Miss Ellie, was guzzling the garlic and chilli juices left at the bottom of the bowl. Good God her breath reeked!
Ok, I know I had the same breath but garlic breath is plain weird on a cat. And of course it gets worse. Because what goes in at one end comes out at the other! The boys have refused to share the litter tray with her today, and have been hiding under a bush outside. That cat can really fart.
Other than that, today has been good. I have done all the filing, and because I was in efficient mode, I decided that it would take too long to shred all my bank and card statements that I had been hoarding for years, so instead I would burn them.
So out came the BBQ. I lit it, and started scrunching the paper into balls to burn. All was going well, until the Baron arrived on the scene. At this point, I should confess that I have previously had pyromaniacal tendencies, resulting in my bedroom carpet catching fire. I behave now, but I thought the Baron had come to make sure that I didn't recreate Towering Inferno.
And I was wrong. So very wrong. There is something about BBQ's that makes mens brain temporarily short out. So Idiot Boy throw the whole wodge of paper into the small fire I have created. Naturally, it goes out, and since it is raining, it wasn't that easy to restart. So what does he do? I bet you can guess.....................out comes the meths and onto the fire they go!
Flames shot eight feet into the air, and sparks started to fly - mainly because I started to yell at him for ruining my fire project. Of course, it was the meths burning and not the paper, which was sat smouldering. I went into the bush and found a nice poking stick and started to poke the paper to make it catch. I move back to avoid the sparks, and guess who chucks on more meths.......
"To get to the paper you just moved" was the explanation for the latest mini explosion. I give up and go back inside, where I watch from the warm and dry as he pours on yet more meths. I'm scared that someone is going to call the Frie Brigade - by this point the flames were ten feet high (from a tiny little portable BBQ) and smoke is streaming over the neighbourhood. Eventually, I went back outside with my kitchen tongs, rearranged the still intact paper, and confiscated the meths. Another couple of minutes, and finally three years worth of paper is reduced to an ashy slimy mess.
I needed a cup of tea and a cake after that! Then I tidied the kitchen, fridge, bathroom and heating unit and moved upstairs to tackle the pile of clothes and the black hole that used to be my desk. All done. All that is left is to have a bath to remove the stench of smoke from me and my hair!
All I will say on the diet front is that it is going well. But I am hungry, which isn't so good. One day, and I am hungry!
I think that covers the day so far. Not very interesting, but more fun than most days!
posted by DMouse007 @ 1/01/2004 05:44:00 PM
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